Elves, Girls, Men and Lorien
by hobbitgirls
Summary: Summary and Title subject to change. Once again the Hobbitgirls are at it. This time in Lothlorien! Drama, Romance, and what we like to think of as humor all inside! (Where else will you find that?)
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1:

**A/N**: OK, wow. New fic. What new havoc are we going to wreak? Look out ME! Here we come! First chappie is in Christy's POV.

**Disclaimer: **We own nothing except the clothes on our backs. Oh, and this chocolate bar I found on the floor. Mmmm… yummy.

"School's over!" I cheered as we walked to the front of the school.

"For the week," Courtney reminded me.

"Court!" Kitty scolded her best friend. "Let us have our moments!"

"So we're all coming over to Brittany's house tonight, right?" Vanessa made sure once more.

"Yes," we chorused.

"My parents are _thrilled_," Brittany said sarcastically. Last time we were there, we were loud all night and her dad kept coming out to tell us to be quiet.

We all said good-bye and agreed to bring money to see RotK once more.

"Eeee! Return of the King is sooooo awesome!" Kitty squealed.

Once again we had gone to see one of the most awesome movies ever, something that we do every time we're all together. Brittany's mom and dad looked amused in the front seats while her little sister looked scared. The whole ride back we gushed and picked apart RotK, never once stopping.

When we got to 'la casa de Brittany' we hightailed it upstairs to worship at the shrine of Britt's Legolas cutout.

"Can we go see the girls, please?!" Haldir, Aragorn, Éomer, Legolas, and Pippin begged. "Pleeeaaase?!"

--

"Alright, fine! I hate to see a king, let alone 2, beg!" Galadriel answered. "It will be what they call 'Valentine's Day' tomorrow and that is a day of love in their world. The timing will work in your advantage, I think. But first, why won't Gandalf do it?"

"He's being a fuddy-duddy," Pippin informed her using a word he picked up last time the Fellowship came to our world.

She raised an eyebrow. "Hmm… I will send you there to retrieve them and bring you back immediately. Are you agreed?"

"We have an accord," Legolas told her. The others looked at him. "I don't know; it just popped into my head."

"Are you ready?" Galadriel asked.

"Yes," they replied swiftly.

"All bow before the all-mighty Leggy," we chanted bowing before the cut-out.

POOF! "Wha--?!" We heard Legolas shout.

"He's alive!" Kitty cheered and continued worshipping while the rest of us jumped up, frantically trying to block out the view.

"What is _that_?!" Legolas asked again.

"Huh?" Kitty asked and looked around. "Legolas! Hey baby. What are you doing here?"

"We came to get all of you," Aragorn replied when he was able to breathe again, Vanessa still squeezing his waist. (A/N: No, no, no… it was his bum.)

"Whoo-hoo!" Brittany yelled, kissing Éomer on the cheek.

Before we had time to grab anything we were gone in another POOF!

"Ooo…Lothlorien!" I squealed. "Pretty!"

"So, question," Court, the sensible one interjected. "Where are we going to stay?"

"Hopefully not in the trees," Pippin said, voicing his 2¢ for the hobbits who don't like heights.

"All will be arranged," Galadriel said mysteriously, speaking up for the first time, scaring those of us who didn't know that she was there.

"Ack!" Vanessa screamed, making one of her trademark weird noises. "Don't do that!"

Evidently Galadriel had this all planned out and we quickly were shown to our quarters. Haldir and I were to share his talan, Legolas and Kits had one in the tree over, then Vanessa and Aragorn's, followed by Brittany and Éomer's which was next to Courtney and Pippin's. Pip wasn't to thrilled about 'living like a squirrel', but Courtney convinced him that if they wanted any privacy, they needed a talan, which quickly changed his mind and declared, "Well call me a squirrel!" Everyone else would share a pavilion on the ground, also the place we would all gather to eat, which was what we were ready to do next.

"I'm hungry," Nessa moaned ad Pippin asked, "When's dinner?"

"It is on its way," Galadriel told us and promptly left.

Soon random elves were arriving and placing food on the long table on the side of the pavilion.

"Food!" the hobbits and the 5 of us cried (we hadn't eaten since school, give us a break!).

We all grabbed what we wanted and sat back down as the rest of the men went and got their food and returned to sit beside us.

We were in the middle of a festive, lively dinner when 2 elves snuck up on us!

"Rúmil! Orophin! Join us," Haldir called to his brother.

"Yes, come!" Aragorn invited.

With that the 2 blond elves stepped into the circle of light within our pavilion.


	2. Check, please?

Chapter 2:

**A/N: **Righteous! A new fic! Damn, 2 in one day. I have no idea what I'm gonna do. Crap! I also want it to stop raining: it makes me depressed. This in Vanessa's POV.

**Disclaimer: **We own nothing. watches police take tied up Aragorn from my closet

Two more yummy elveses had joined our humble table. How many was that now? counts on fingers 3… 4! Wow, that's a lot of elven hotness. And yet, sadly, they came nowhere near my grungy ranger.

I can't say the food was all that good. Lothlorien elves should stick to making Lembas. And gorgeous elven babes.

After dinner I automatically assumed that the next stop was to head back to the talan. You know, considering the fact that we hadn't seen our guys in a few months that would seem logical. Naw.

I turned around and gasp no Aragorn. I made frustrated noise #3 and went looking for him.

Upon entering the pavilion I saw that all of my friends were gathered around looking quite disgruntled. Uh-oh, this could be trouble…

"Did 'heir-boi' leave you to?" Christy asked.

"Yeah…" I mumbled. "Do you guys have any idea where they might have gone? I mean, they can't have gone too far."

"They might have gone with those 2 new elves, Rúmil and Orophin, right after we ate," Brittany said. "Pesky elvses…"

"Christy, curse you! If your Haldir didn't have those brothers of his I could be up in that talan having the time of my life! But noo… I'm stuck down here with you guys."

"I resent that!" Kitty cried.

Christy scoffed. "Haldir? Hey buddy, it was Aragorn who invited them to sit with us."

Realizing that I was caught in my own trap, I remained silent and brooding.

--

"So," Rúmil said, clasping his hands together, "just what do you have planned for the girls tomorrow?"

The men looked around at each other, obviously thoroughly confused. "What does it matter?" Éomer asked."

"It's Valentine's Day!" Orophin interjected.

"What's Valentine's Day?" Pippin asked, the words sounding foreign upon his tongue.

"A day of love in their world? Candy? Roses? Is any of this ringing a bell?" Rúmil questioned and sighed at their looks of confusion. "Did Lady Galadriel tell you nothing?"

"This may take a while," Orophin muttered.

--

"Oh! Oh! Oh! I know this!" I cried. "A lizard!"

Courtney gave me a weird look, shook her head, and went on with her act. She started flapping her arms and making impatient noises.

"A camel?" I asked again.

"A chicken?" Kitty called.

"Go fish!" Brittany cried.

"Brittany," Christy said, "this is Charades, not Go Fish."

We had been waiting for the men to show their sorry hides and beg for forgiveness for close to 2 hours now. You know what boredom does to your mind. If not, read above.

15 minutes later we saw them (the guys) emerge from the trees while I was impersonating Godzilla (A/N: Which we do not own). "Rrrrrrrooooooaaaarrr!"

This no doubt scared our sexy men and they stopped in their tracks. Éomer patted Aragorn on the shoulder and said, "Sorry, mate."

He closed his eyes. "Of all the women, why her, dear Eru?" he mumbled.

"Vanessa, stop, you're making a fool of yourself," Courtney whispered.

"I know," I replied. "But this is fun. Rrroooaaarrr!'

"You're scaring Aragorn though!" She cried in one last attempt to get me to be quiet and pointed at him to prove her point.

"Aww… heck, he'll get over it. Now, guess who I am! Rrroooaaarrr!"

Haldir advanced towards Christy. "Care to leave?" he asked, holding his ears to try and drown the noise.

"To the talan?"

"To the talan."

The two left and soon everyone else did too, leaving me to roar at only Aragorn. He looked as if he were channeling Eru himself to strike him down. Silly mortal.

I ceased roaring and went to confront mister 'I'm-too-good-to-tell-you-where-I'm-going-so-I-won't.' Putting on false anger face #1 I slowly stalked towards Aragorn.

"I can hear you, Vanessa," he said with his eyes still closed and I mumbled a curse. "That wasn't real lady-like."

"I shovel horse crap almost every other day; do you really think I'm going to act like a lady?" I shrugged. "Oh, wait, I'm supposed to be mad at you." I scowled at him.

Aragorn tried to look innocent but gave up. "Alright, I'll just go to my talan… all by myself…" He headed off towards our tree-thingy.

Now tell me, do you really think I would let him go off alone? If so I have a used car I'd love to sell you…

--

"Caffeine…" Christy moaned during breakfast. "I… need…. Caffeine…"

"Will you shut your pie-hole?!" I cried angrily. "We don't _have_ any sodas in Lothlorien!"

Christy was silent for a moment. "Did you just tell me to 'shut my pie-hole'?"

"Erm… yeah. Sorry about that," I apologized. "But… I can't believe Aragorn left me again! He was there when I went to sleep! I hope he's not having an affair…"

"I don't think so, Ness," Brittany said. "Éomer's gone too. So that means that our men are planning something or they're having an affair with each other."

Kitty cringed. "Eww…"

**A/N**: Ok, not quite as entertaining as I'd hoped but I really need to go study for my World History test. Eep! insert weird noise #7 Please review and make my dragon happy.


	3. A Purple Bunny?

Chapter 3:

**A/N**: Stupid bois; keep leaving! And my shoe broke! Arg! BTW, Nessa and I started companion fics to go with these, written by us, Brittany, Kitty, and Courtney. Penname for those is 'Eored of Fangirls'. Go check 'em out. This in Christy's POV.

**Disclaimer**: Not owned by us… any of it.

"…or they're having an affair with each other."

"Eww…"

"What?!" Boromir yelped. "The King of Gondor would _never_ do that!"

"Nor, I'm sure, the King of Rohan," Gandalf commented dryly.

"Then _where_ did they go!?" Vanessa demanded.

"Merry, do you know where Pippin went" Court asked, using all of her 'good girl charm.'

"I might," he answered. "But I'm sworn to secrecy if I do."

"Arg!" she growled and viciously bit into an apple.

"Eek!" I heard Frodo squeal at her display of violence.

"I can't believe they don't have caffeine here!" I moaned, oblivious to the other conversations as I was sure that the reason Haldir was gone was because he was on duty. "How can they not? Poor deprived elves!"

"Christy? Christy?!" Brittany broke into my mope.

"Huh?" I asked.

"We were going to play charades again; wanna join?" Kitty explained.

"Oh boy!" I rolled my eyes. "Why not? Nessie, go ahead."

"OK, since you didn't realize what it was last night, we'll try again," Vanessa announced. "OK, who/what am I? Rrroooaaarrr!"

"Christy!" Kitty guessed. I glared at her. "When she wakes up," she amended.

"That's right; she's usually an agreeable person," Haldir agreed as he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"Where'd you come from?" Brittany asked, hoping that his return would signal the return of Éomer.

"Off of duty," he replied, then guessed Vanessa's charade. "A Balrog."

"No," came the reply. "Rrroooaaarrr!"

"Godzilla?" I asked, still mourning my caffeine.

"Yes!" Vanessa exclaimed, scaring everyone. "Finally! Someone got it. OK, your turn."

"Ugh!" I grumbled and staggered up. "I have no clue what to do." Haldir whispered a suggestion in my ear. "After my turn we will," I replied. I thought for a few moments and started my charade. I hopped around, feeling like a complete idiot, waiting for someone to guess. I twitched my nose.

"Ooo! A bunny!" Brittany yelped.

"Close," I answered.

"A_ purple_ bunny," Vanessa corrected.

"Yeah, but Britt was close enough. Go Britt," I replied and left with Haldir to go to our talan, as he suggested.

I stepped into the talan before Haldir and stopped in my tracks. I gasped at the appearance of the flet. There were roses of all colors in bouquets around the room, with rose petals on the floor and on the bed. A platter of chocolate was set in the middle of the table. "Happy Valentines day," he muttered in my ear.

"Wha… what _happened_?!"

"Rúmil decorated; do you like it?"

"I… uh, yeah, I guess. Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Marchwarden? Because all those rose petals are a little creepy. I like the chocolate, but way too many flowers!"

"I'll remember that next time," he replied. "And yes, I am trying to seduce you. Is it working?" He kissed me.

When we came up for air I giggled. "Yes, it is."

**A/N: **OK, yes! Finito! Fin! giggle It's not as long as most of my stuff, but that's OK. A little more racy than most, but, meh, deal with it! Go Nessie! What are the guys doing now?

**A/N2 (Vanessa): **Have you no shame, woman?! I'm not bumping this rating up to R, FYI! Maybe I should put a warning or something up at the top. Meh, review por favor and make me giggle and squirm.


	4. Chapta 4

Chapter 4:

A/N: Here it is: the chapter you've all been dreading. I can make it sappy or I can make it non-sappy. I'm diverse like that. Go me! OK, in Nessie's POV.

Disclaimer: We own nothing that even looks like it may belong to Tolkien. I do own the Lean Pocket I'm about to eat though. (dances with Lean Pocket)

"Dude, I feel so unloved!" I wailed. Our men left us… for each other! I can't take it anymore!"

"Vanessa, they are _not_ having an affair with each other," Boromir sighed.

"Can you prove it?"

"Well, no… but I know for a fact that they are not out there with each other."

"Aww… darn, I woulda watched!" I laughed as Boromir visibly flinched. "Oh, come on, I know you better than that! Don't pretend like you wouldn't have stolen a peek too!"

Two arms wrapped around me from behind suddenly. "What's this about looking?" Aragorn asked as he released me.

"Guh… I mean… uh… nothing," I babbled.

"Vanessa here-" Boromir started.

I slapped my hand over his mouth to shut him up. Smiling up innocently at my sexy ranger, I didn't see Boromir's face contort into an evil grin.

I jumped when I felt something wet slide across my hand and made an odd noise. "Egh! He _licked_ me!" I tried to whip the saliva off on my pants then thought better and wiped it of on his tunic. "Nasty, nasty, nasty," I mumbled.

Aragorn rolled his eyes at the actions of Boromir and I. "Come on, Vanessa, lets leave so he can find someone else to lick."

I pointed at Brittany and winked at the fair-headed man.

"I think Éomer might have a problem with that," he said.

At the mention of Éomer's name, Brittany perked up from her mope. "Éomer? Where?!" she asked excitedly, looking around in all directions for the horse lord.

"No, no, no, sorry," I told her. "We were just talking about licking people and I told Boromir to lick you."

She shrugged, obviously not paying attention to anything I said after 'no'. "Oh, OK." She went back to her bench and started humming some song I didn't recognize.

Aragorn tugged gently on the sleeve of my shirt and followed him to out talan.

We hadn't gotten far when I heard my blonde friend squeal "Éomer!" I turned around and saw her ½ hugging, ½ chocking the King of Rohan. "Don't you dare leave me again!"

Rúmil sighed as he entered his talan. He had had such a hard day of planning and preparing and decorating for the guests that he hadn't noticed that he did not have anyone to celebrate Valentine's Day with.

A knock sounded from his door and the depressed elf rose from his chair to answer it. Who he saw made him blink a few times and eye the stranger approvingly.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, my lord," the elf stumbled upon his words. "But my party and I have just arrived but a few minutes ago and I seem to be lost. Do you think you could direct me to my talan?"

"Why of course!" Rúmil said energetically. "I'd be delighted. My name is Rúmil. And you are…"

"Fingwit."

"The name sounds familiar," Rúmil mused.

"Ah, you must mean my twin brother, Figwit."

"Yes, yes, yes." Rúmil put an arm across Fingwit's shoulders and led him down the tree and to his new "friend's" talan.

(A/N: I have no inspiration. For once there is nothing good on the IFC so I'm watching infomercials. Go me.)

It was later that day and everyone was gathered 'round a small fire the guys had made. I stared at the soft glow, mesmerized by its beauty… Yeah, I'm a pyro, get over it.

Christy looked as if she was permanently latched onto Haldir's arm and I was ½ expecting it to fall off from loss of blood or something. But Haldir didn't seem to mind, so it was all good I guess.

Brittany was much the same way with Éomer except it was the other way around: Éomer was latched onto Brittany. Aww… cuteness. Although, it made me have second thoughts about the stability of the men of Rohan.

Boromir looked so lonely all by himself off to the side and I felt sorry for him. Tolkien tried to kill him and so did peter. Plus, his only love interest was a creepy she/he. Aww… poor guy.

"We so need marshmallows," Courtney said, breaking the silence of the camp. "Then everything would be perfect."

"Yeah, as long as you throw in a life-size Legolas stand up,"

A/N: Heheh! Sorry, I couldn't resist putting Leggy in there. Anyway sorry for the lame/sappy/short/tardy-ness. Gooooo Christy! (rides off into the night with ranger in tow) Come on Jeffrey!


	5. Chapta 5

Chapter 5:

A/N: Erm… me thinks I have nothing to write. Hmm… This in Christy's POV.

A/N2 (Vanessa): Yeah? Well, me thinks I don't want to type anymore. This is the 7th chapter I've typed in one day. Tis boring after awhile.

Disclaimer: Nope, nothing yet. But I'm saving my money to maybe buy Aragorn's foot one day.

"Yeah… as long as you throw in a life-size Legolas stand-up," Vanessa agreed with Courtney.

"What?" Legolas looked up from making-out with Kits. "What about me?"

"Nothing," Courtney assured him.

I, personally, was enjoying myself. I had latched onto Haldir's arm, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he only shifted to where he could entwine his fingers with mine.

Haldir lightly kissed the top of my head and moved to where his arm was around me, gently rocking me to sleep, laying his head on mine.

"Aww… how cute," Vanessa said sarcastically.

"Be nice!" Brittany chided, reveling in the sappiness of the moment (she's the sappiest of the bunch, The Queen of Sappiness as it were). She looked happily in Éomer's eyes and… Oh, sorry, wrong fic!

"So did everyone have a good day?" a happy Rúmil asked, skipping into the light, once again invading our quiet gathering.

The elf received a chorus of 'yeses' except from the two he most wanted to hear from, his brother and me. Why? It wasn't that we didn't have a good day; we just were both asleep.

"Of course," he pouted. "No need to thank me, brother."

Kitty leaned over and poked Haldir in the ribs. His eyes unglazed. "Huh?" Rúmil repeated his question. Haldir grinned. "Yes, little brother, we both enjoyed ourselves today."

Rúmil finally realized that I was sleeping by the tender look Haldir set upon me. He raised an eyebrow. "I can see that," he laughed.

"And you, brother, did you have a pleasant day?"

Rúmil thought back to the time he had with Fingwit. "Yes, yes I did." His grin grew to match Haldir's earlier devilish one. "A very pleasant day indeed. I shall leave you now. Have a good night." Everyone echoed the sentiment to the retreating elf as he skipped out of sight.

"Interesting brother you've got there, Haldir," Vanessa commented.

"You have no idea," Haldir replied, amused.

I awoke to find that I was back in the talan with no clue how I got there. "Guh," I muttered. "I guess I fell asleep again." I rolled over trying to get more comfortable and saw Haldir in the elvish sleep-state next to me.

A devilish idea popped into my head. "Are elves ticklish?" I asked myself.

"Well, try and find out," myself answered. So I did. I decided that his bare stomach was probably the best place to try because that's where most people are ticklish. I reached over and…

"Ack!" Kitty and Legolas in the talan next to our right and Rúmil and Orophin in the bachelors pad on the left of our talan heard me shriek as Haldir counter-attacked. I guess elves are ticklish.

"Eh, don't mind her; she always does stuff like that," Kitty told a worried Legolas before turning over to go back to sleep. "And besides, at least they're only loud every once in a while, unlike our _other_ neighbors." She referred to, of course, Vanessa and Aragorn who seem to like to share when they're being intimate while the rest of us prefer to keep it to ourselves. Oh well, whatever stirs their coffee.

A/N: Ok, I'm done! Woot! Go me! Well, here goes Ness. Have fun!

A/N2 (Vanessa): Score! Only 5 more chapters left in this spiral! Of course, I have the other spiral I haven't even begun yet. Grr… Anyway, please review and let me know just how much you hate me.


End file.
